If, Shizuo, If
by Shancho
Summary: What's this! Shizou's trapped with no logical means of escape. Of course that Izaya's involved in some way. However, Shizuo will escape by any means necessary to take care of business! What ever happens, Izaya will pay!


**If, Shizuo, If**

Light bleeds into Shizuo's eyes as a blindfold falls from his eyes. "You're really pissin' me off!" His muscles roar against his restraints. "Damnit!" The old feeling of blind rage tears through him again and the chains tighten around his neck. The force of the chain stops his struggle as violent coughs dry his throat.

"Careful Shizu-chan." That voice! Shizuo tries his restraints again but the chains cut the air from his windpipe.

"Izayaaaa! Damnit you little coward let me out!" Shizuo screams. "You set me up!"

"Not really Shizu-chan." Chipper skips follow the voice and Izaya squats before Shizuo. "Oooo you see these human's can be so clever when your give them a little prodding." He runs his finger against the chain holding Shizuo's neck. "This is nice." Izaya cuts a lock of Shizuo's hair and watches it fall to the cold stone ground. "Soooo nice, hahahahhaaha." Izaya stands a spins on his toes. He was the prima ballerina. "Do-do-do-do-do-dooooo." Izaya takes a long breath. "You're cute monster strength is no good for this little thing. The harder you pull," Izaya touches the fetters around Shizuo's ankles and wrists. "The less you breathe." Malicous chuckles fill the room. "My, my won't it be hilarious if you break your own neck." Izaya draws the toe of his shoe against Shizuo's face.

"When I get out—"

"If you get out." Izaya snickers. "I'm not running the show Shizuo, I'm just along for the ride."

"Then why the hell am I here?" Shizuo says. Izaya holds his hands on his head in thought. "Izaya!"

"Now hang on I have to see if I have a good answer for you." A few seconds go by before Shizuo fights against his restraints again. "Are you really about to snap your neck to get to me? That's not much fun."

"Why am I here Izaya!"

"I think that's a vague question. But I'll answer your first one…No."

"No what?"

"Mmmmm, no I don't have a good answer for why you are here right now. Perhaps you lost your job with Tom and he's sold your body on the black market. With that hair you sort of look American. Ooo or perhaps you're still working for Tom and this is just a test…" Izaya steps behind the shadow of the light and pulls his hood over his head. He fondles the white fuzz and pulls a few knives into his fingers. "Or, my favorite guess, someone has the same sense of humor I do." He throws his knives. Shizuo catches one between his teeth and the others graze his face.

"That didn't hurt."

"I'll find that breaking point eventually." Izaya's skips fade away with his words.

Shizuo snaps his eyes open when those monstrous steps prance towards him again. His consciousness awakened the rage feeding his now empty stomach. "What's up Shizu-chan? Hunnngry?" Izaya reveals a tray of food in his arms as he enters the light. "I found this somewhere." He sets the food before Shizuo and sits down. "Well aren't you hungry?" Izaya picks up the chopsticks and holds a piece of food up to Shizuo's mouth. "Open up the tunnel here's the tofu express." Izaya prods Shizuo's face with the tofu and pouts. "What's wrong? Baby not hungry?" Shizuo grasps the tofu, along with the chopsticks in his mouth and chomps through it. "Bad baby." Izaya takes out two slim knives and tosses the broken chopsticks away. "Don't eat chopsticks." He holds another piece of food between the knives and bites into the meal. "Oh well since you're not hungry. I love when I find free food, it always tastes so good." He hums and rocks jovially between bites. "Sure you don't want another bite Shizu-chan."

"I am going to break your legs when I get out."

"If, Shizu-chan, if." Izaya finishes the meal and takes a remaining bit of rice from the bowl. He pushes it between Shizuo's lips and pulls his fingers back quickly. "You're gotta keep your energy up, Shizu-chan. How else will you escape, if the time comes?"

"When what time comes?"

"If." Shizuo gags when his body reacts to Izaya's words. "What's wrong? Tired, I guess if I were in that odd position I would get cranky too."

"Your words disgust me."

"Thank you." Izaya hops onto his feet. "My, it is so stuffy in here, you obviously need to redecorate."

"What are you doing in there?" A foreign voice sounds in the room. The distorted sound kept the owner of the voice anonymous. But the voice sounded as if it came from an intercom, so Shizuo didn't expect to see another person. "You are compromising this operation."

"Operation? What? I thought this was a party. My, oh my, I must have the wrong address or be fashionably early. How uncouth."

"Get out now and come to my office."

"Your office, hmm actually I have a game scheduled in my office in a few minutes. You're welcome to join me there. Bye bye, Shizu-chan." Izaya flies into the darkness and leaves the room. A few moments go by before a new presence joins Shizuo in the room.

"Whoever you are." Shizuo snarls. "You're making me really angry!" A man concealed by a mask and bulky coat approaches Shizuo and holds a long black stick before his face.

"I'll shock you if you misbehave."

"Go ahead." The stick sparks to life and the man threateningly holds it between Shizuo's eyes. "Go ahead!" The man stabs the taser on Shizuo's forehead. "Oh I thought that was a taser or something, not a massager." Shizuo snaps. "If you don't tell me what's going on I'm going to make you pay!"

"We'll let you out Mr. Heiwajima. Soon enough, but we need to know that we can trust you before you're allowed to walk on your own."

"Trust me for what?" Shizuo resists pulling at his chains. "Let me go!"

"I'm afraid I have the bargaining chip here Mr. Heiwajima."

"Nothing you can do can hurt me." Shizuo glowers. Normally his fuse lasted much longer. His hate for violence always won out over his need to hurt people, but when he lacked nicotine, his brain often malfunctioned.

"I promise to let you out Mr. Hewajima." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a photo. "Once you help us with this little problem." The man reveals the photo. "Your brother, Kasuka Heiwajima."

"What do you want?" A vein throbs in Shizuo's neck.

"That's our business Mr. Heiwajima. We'll tell you once we're sure you can deliver. If you can't your brother will be in danger."

"You watch too much TV, a regular man wouldn't be fooled by a false threat."

"You're not a regular man are you?" The man clears his throat. "If you allow me to explain your brother will remain unharmed." Shizuo frowns. He had disappointed Kasuka by losing his bartending job, he could let that be the last thing they shared as brothers.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Are you a man of your word Shizuo?"

"Don't be so casual with me."

"Mr. Heiwajima, I will release you and you will be briefed in a separate room, if you promise to do as I ask."

"I'm no murderer and I hate bullies."

"We have dirt on you Mr. Heiwajima, don't make us use it." The man coughs. "Now, I need you to take care of some people, you don't need to kill them but you need to hurt them and take an envelope from each and every one of them."

"Why?"

"These envelopes need to be returned to me as soon as you acquire them." Shizuo draws a deep breath as his brother crosses his mind. What could this man be planning?

"Let me go."

"Promise you will perform this task without question and you will be released."

"Get me a cigarette and a plate from Russia Sushi, I'll find these envelopes."

"You promise?"

"I guess." A bunch of bastards threatening a family member for results? How cliché. The man pats Shizuo's shoulder and calls to an invisible person. The chains lighten their hold on Shizuo and fall away from his body. His body cramped slightly but he stood just as if he were sitting in a comfortable armchair. "This really pisses me off." Shizuo grinds the ground beneath his foot. "Where's my cigarette?"

Shizuo sits in a large chair in a conference room with three folders and the once mysterious man. The man still wore the bulky coat but he no longer wore his mask. Shizuo bends his fourth cigarette between his fingers and dumps it in the ashtray. The cigarettes kept him from breaking his kidnappers' face into tiny pieces. He taps his legs against the floor as the man reviews the files. "Well these two, Mr. Yamaguchi and Mr. Nakazawa live in the same apartment building so you can get them in the same night, Ms. Tanaka lives right on the edge of Ikebukuro and lives alone, she should be easy to overpower."

"I don't hit girls."

"I said you didn't have to kill her, you want your brother to be safe don't you?" Shizuo smashes his fist into the table and picks his chair over his head.

"I said I don't hit girls!"

"Alright, calm down Mr. Heiwajima!" The man jumps out of the way of the chair as it soars across the table and through the wall. "…Uhm, Mr. Heiwajima that is unacceptable, I will not have you tearing up this office."

"Listen old man!" Shizuo takes the man by his collar and shakes him against the wall. "I'm getting angrier listening to you by the second. I'm not a thief!"

"These people have something of mine they are the thieves, I'm only reclaiming what is rightfully mine." The man kicks the air in the search for ground. "Mr. Heiwajima, I'll give you the addresses so just go and get the envelopes! So we can end this." Shizuo drops the man to the ground and takes another cigarette from the package. He snatches the folders from the table and exits the room.

Shizuo approaches the first apartment building and walks up the front steps. The apartments sat beside each other so he could take care of the task quickly. He bangs on the door of the first apartment. A short old man answers the door and adjusts his glasses. "It is rather late young man." His feeble hands hold the doorknob. "What do you need?" Shizuo grumbles, how could he shake the envelope from the old man?

"I got a call about loud noise from your neighbor, keep your music down." He hated lying.

"Me, that young monster is so unforgivably rude to his elders! Always playing the foreign music and filling his house with foreigners! I've let all of this slide for so long not tonight." The old man hobbles back into his home and Shizuo follows inside. "I will call my son and I am moving in with him. My grandchildren need me." Shizuo keeps his eyes peeled for the envelope. It was golden with a European wax seal. "Back when Ikebukuro was a good place to live with no foreigner's people knew how to treat elders." Shizuo spots the envelope sitting in an old book and slips it into his pocket. He leaves the apartment quickly and checks the second. The younger man lived here.

He knocks and a young man appears. "Hey man! You got a problem? You know how late it is man? You wanna fight!"

"Do you have something like—" Shizuo reaches for the letter and the young man yanks the cigarette from Shizuo's mouth.

"I hate smoking you jerk, how dare you smoke in front of my door? Why is there a bartender here so late? Are you some kind of cosplayer! Freak!" The man waves his hands in front of Shizuo's face threateningly. "You want some of this! Yeahh! You don't cuz I'm the leader of the Dollars and former member of the yellow scarves! You don't want any of this!" The door slams in Shizuo's face…He takes the door off its hinges and breaks it in half. "Yo hey man what you doing!" Shizuo hurls the door into the apartment and punches the young man. "Oh you wanna fight!" Before the young man can raise his fists, Shizuo bashes his head against the man's brow and slams his knuckles into his stomach. Shizuo takes another cigarette and lights it as the young man falls to the floor, unconscious.

"I really hate violence." Shizuo searches the apartment for the envelope and finally finds it in the young man's kitchen cabinet.

Finally, Shizuo reaches the home of the young woman. "Living alone on the outskirts of Ikebukuro? Not so smart." Shizuo surveys the apartment for a few minutes and climbs inside through a small window on the ground floor. Luckily, the young woman's apartment seemed to be empty so the search for the envelope took only a few easy minutes. Shizuo sets the last envelope with the others and quickly makes his way back to his kidnappers' hideout.

"You returned, good, I had a few man tailing you just in case we had to make a detour at your brother's place." Shizuo breaks the cigarette and crushes it beneath his foot. He sets the envelopes before his kidnapper. "Excellent." The man takes the envelopes in his hand and grins. "This will be the best weekend ever."

"What are those?"

"Tickets to your brother's movie premiere, I was going to buy three for me and my girlfriend and one to sell to some superfan online! But those three bastards you took care of stole them right from under my nose! I mean I have every one of your brother's movies and I am the most deserving of these tickets! I love his movies! He's so emotional and my girlfriend loves me more because I love him! Thanks Shizuo I really wanted these tickets."

"…You…you said you were going to attack my brother…"

"Well I figured that would get you to go get them for me. I hear he's precious to you through my gossip web and then got the awesome idea to kidnap you and make you get my tickets! Thanks Shizuo."

"You bastard!" Shizuo lunges at the man and takes his collar. "You can't be serious I beat the shit out of one of them!"

"Was it the old man? I fucking hope so, as if his wrinkled ass deserved to buy the tickets? I think he bought them for his grand daughter or something but who the hell cares? Or maybe that stupid guy? As if his thuggish face deserves to see the premiere of Kasuka's new movie? That girl thinks she's number one on Kasuka's fanpage but I _made_ the fanpage! I'm so awesome I know Kasuka's actual name and I know that you're his brother, 'The Beast of Ikebukuro' you're the best Shizuo really! I deserved these tickets don't hurt me!" Shizuo reels back his fist as that impish laughter curses his ears again.

"Shizu-chan you got all worked up for nothing, see I told you someone else has my awesome sense of humor. This has got to be the most amusing assignment I've ever had."

"Yes it was great Mr. Heiwajima, once I had my idea I knew Mr. Orihara would be the number one to find you and instruct my men in how to capture you."

"IZAYA!" Izaya claps his hands gleefully and runs away. Shizuo punches his kidnapper and snatches the envelopes away. He would return them to their owners as soon as he caught Izaya. He races from the room and catches a knife as Izaya throws it towards him.

"I must buy some sharper knives."

"Izaya, I'm going to kill you!"

"Maybe if you get a little faster Shizu-chan."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The End :3

5


End file.
